Chinese announce Occupy America movement

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Borowitz Report
   
October 28, 2011

China Announces ‘Occupy America’

Mysterious Movement’s Goals Unclear

BEIJING (The Borowitz Report) – The Chinese government raised eyebrows around the world today by announcing a mysterious national movement called “Occupy America.”

In a brief statement, the Chinese government said that while Occupy America was “not exactly a protest movement,” its effects would be felt in “every city, town and Wal-Mart in America.”

Hinting that the movement had widespread support in China, the statement said that Occupy America “would have the full participation of approximately 1.3 billion Chinese.”

At the State Department, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said that the goals of Occupy America “remain unclear,” adding, “The official policy of the U.S. government towards things we don’t fully understand is to do nothing.”

Later, after a phone call with Chinese officials, Secretary Clinton said she came away feeling reassured: “They told me that Occupy America actually started thirty years ago.”

Elsewhere, to mark the Statue of Liberty’s 125th birthday, police across the country beat up protesters.  Read More Here

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Upcoming Events

November 02, 2011 at 06:00 PM

New York!

Andy appears in a live taping of the radio show 7 Second Delay at UCB Theater in New York City.  Tickets $5.

Location:
307 West 26th Street New York NY 10001
For tickets go to 7 Second Delay

November 19, 2011 at

Miami!

Andy will do a free show at the Miami Book Fair and sign copies of his new book, The 50 Funniest American Writers.

Location:
TBA

December 03, 2011 at 07:30 PM

Rhinebeck, NY – Free Show!

Andy will do a FREE show and sign copies of his new book, The 50 Funniest American Writers.  RSVP is required for this event.  RSVP to rsvp@oblongbooks.com or call 845-876-0500.

Location:
Rhinebeck High School Auditorium, 45 North Park Rd., Rhinebeck, NY 12572
For tickets go to Oblong Books

April 03, 2012 at 06:00 PM

Mark Twain’s House!

Andy will perform a special show at the Mark Twain Boyhood Home and Museum in Hannibal, MO.  Afterwards he’ll be signing copies of his new book, The 50 Funniest American Writers.

Location:
120 N. Main St., Hannibal, MO 63401
For tickets go to Andy Borowitz at Mark Twain’s House

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About Scott Hunter

Editor of The Star newspaper in Grand Coulee, observer of life, history, patterns in things that matter.
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